well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
