Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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