How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
