I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
