you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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