Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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