We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
