you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
