have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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