well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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