We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
