I need help removing her.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
