I will die if light touches me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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