But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
