Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
