Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
