I'm sorry my penis didn't work
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
either way he was missing a nipple.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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