Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
