I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
