Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
