1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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