I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
