he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
