i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
