My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
