That's intense
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
