shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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