The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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