He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
