Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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