Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
