But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
