he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
