i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
