we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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