oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
