Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
