Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
