life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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