mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
