I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
