It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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