no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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