i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
