u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
