omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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