Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
