Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
