I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
