If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
