my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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