wrigley field is MILF paradise
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
