if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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